sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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