Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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