what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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