i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
