I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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