OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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