ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
