i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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