last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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