My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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