Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just forgot I was standing up.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
