Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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