Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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