If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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