Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We named our party play list daddy issues
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
