i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
