ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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