hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
