The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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