So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
