I wish I could teleport
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
