I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
