we're blogging at a bar
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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