wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
