kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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