Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
