Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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