The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
