it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
