Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
