I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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