At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
