No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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