p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
