Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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