you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
