i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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