i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
of course. lets lasso hookers.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
