tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
