I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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