he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
