Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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