my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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