my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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