I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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