so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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