I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
