I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
