ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
