I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
