In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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