he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
