Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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