ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
